Day 3

Sunday is lazy day at “The Cabin”. Everything seems to be in slow motion and taking longer than need be. Our excursion began with a trip in the mountains to visit a small market where five different hill tribes gathered to sell their wares. The Karen hill tribe [Long Neck’s] that migrated from Myanmar to Thailand onehundred years ago was the most interesting. Notice the gold rings in the photograph of the young girl that are added one at a time during adolescence to promote the expansion of the neck. The original purpose was so neighboring tribes wouldn’t steal their women – and interesting concept.  

Alissa.

This exquisite charming Thai woman resides in Bangkok and has successfully completed her twenty-eight days of Rehabilitation. She checked out for home this morning. I will miss our conversations together along with her warmth and charisma. She was the first guest to greet me when I arrived. Ty was leading a yoga session by the pool that I walked passed following Stu to my new accommodations. Alissa, without hesitation made eye contact and followed with an inviting smile and wave of her hand. At thirty feet I could feel the communication of welcome and the sublime message that life was wonderful – at least on the surface.

            “The Cabin,” was Alissa’s second shot at rehab in the last two years. She was a prestigious fashion designer and the owner a chic clothing boutique in Bangkok. The shop sold her original creations as well as high-end sports wear from Paris and London. There was no way anyone could know that she was an alcohol and cocaine addict. The peer pressure and party life, she explained, was impossible to avoid and still remain hot, as a designer. Her drug experiences were with friends, business contacts and artists. She explained quite frankly, without any hesitation, often she would do lines of cocaine in public. Partying openly in bars and clubs three and four times a week until the wee hours of the morning.

            “Our idiotic drug experiences were determined by our status in the fashion world. We called ourselves designers but our minds were empty, and the drugs didn’t give us the imagination we hoped for. We never know any real pleasure, so we existed in collective destruction.”

She told this to me during one of the few times we were able to talk one on one, usually waiting at breakfast for the others. Many times we engaged in deep conversations that would abruptly end when someone else’s presence was felt.

            Alissa’s shop is closed now. It didn’t take long for that life style to catch up with her. She wants to go home, to her boyfriend and family and reopen the boutique. During one of our last conversations she told me she was totally recovered, just like the last time. Though she still felt remorseful and afraid. Afraid -- because she knows she’s going back to the same lifestyle and to a boyfriend that still uses drugs. We looked at each other without a word passing between us – and knew it wasn’t going to work.

            Sometimes we have to believe in miracles I thought to myself, and prayed for this woman that I liked. I couldn’t understand why she was knowingly going back to the same situation that continually produced negative results. Her life was like a clear glass bottle shattering over a black granite floor, the sound echoing over and over in my brain as I watched her taxi drive away into a pure stainless morning.