Scene: The ladies are pulled apart, with Tom1 doing most of the work. Tom2 isn’t quite sure what part of the two women is safe for him to touch. His non-violence is appreciated but he has little effect on the action. Tom1 grabs Sandy around her arms. A difficult feat considering Sandy is moving them with lightning speed, punching and clawing at Cindy like at cat in heat.
Sandy gets manhandled and thrown back into her chair. Larry is staring at her smiling. She is most sexy like this, with her lungs pumping for oxygen and her nostrils flared open like a wild mare.
Cindy is quiet and thankful that Tom1 was there to break up the very one-sided fight. It lasted as long as Mohammad Ali’s bout against Jerry Quarry.
Larry: Larry has now regained control and stopped choking.
“I don’t think that was a very fair or accurate of a statement Cindy. First of all, I didn’t hit on you; you hit on me. You invited me to your apartment under the pretense that you needed an architectural critique on the color of curtains.”
Cindy: “You did too hit on me. You touched my ass, and then everywhere else after that. What do you call that, if not hitting?”
Larry: “I was only trying to keep you from falling off the ladder. Your ass was the largest appealing thing to grab. After that you fell on top of me, then I just kept on grabing things trying to escape.”
Cindy: “Your tongue did quite a bit of grabbing as I recall.”
Tom2 This conversation did nothing to calm Sandy down. Tom said, “Are you addicted to sex, Larry? – Please, spare us the details and just admit it. You’ll never be cured if you remain in denial.
Sandy: Looking at Larry, and still red as a succulent cherry sitting atop of a Shirley Temple, “Don’t fucking even look at me. I don’t ever want to talk to you again.”
Larry: ”We don’t talk much anyway, we just fuck.”
Now looking at Tom1. “No I am not addicted to sex, I may abuse sex from time to time but I cannot honestly say I’m addicted to sex. Addiction is a non-voluntary compulsion or dependence. That would be like saying I’m addicted to air. I like breathing air from time to time, one could say I breath air regularly, one, might go as far as suggesting I abuse air. That doesn’t mean I’m addicted to air.”
Tom1 “You’re a fucking moron Larry. You’re addicted to everything. You have a compulsory physiological disorder. You consume anything that is put in front of you. You can’t ride a bike without wanting to be Lance Armstrong. You can’t play chess without wanting to beat Boris Spassky. You can’t take a fucking aspirin without finishing the entire bottle within two days. You are addicted to air you fucking jerk, admit it!”
Sandy: “Calm down Tom, he’s not that bad. He as a bottle of Vitamin C in his kitchen cabinet that has lasted him two months.”
Cindy: “How do you know what’s in his kitchen cabinets?”
Tom2 “Enough Cindy, you better shut up while you still can?”
Larry: “Me, me, me, me … enough about me, what about your problems Tom?” Now facing Tom1 with the intention of changing the topic and keeping the girls out of it.
“You fucking over age recipient of the perpetual Kindergarten achievement award for pot smoking.” If you would spend one day without toking on a joint you might be able to get a job, or at least get up in the morning and wash your underwear.”
Tom1: “Why are you on my case? Ok, so I smoke pot everyday. So does Willie Nelson and it hasn’t done him any harm.”
Tom2: “You don’t know Willie Nelson. It might have done him a great deal of harm. He might have actually been able to sing if he never smoked pot.”
Sandy: “Who is Willie Nelson?”
Cindy: “He’s John Denver with red hair and talent, you slut. If you had any brain cells left you would know that. How long have you been clean anyway? You know you’re not suppose to come to these therapy sessions if you’re still using.”
Sandy: “I’m clean. I haven’t used in over a week. But that was at a party, I didn’t buy any. Do we have to count that?”
Tom1: Yes that gets counted. I thought you were going to quit?”
Sandy: “I tried, but I met this really cute guy at a party last week, so I kind of gave in.” She said this with her beautiful sexy shy smile that reminded me of Meg Ryan in “When Harry met Sally”.
Larry: “Who did you meet at a party. It wasn’t that jerk Bert that I saw you with last weekend, was it?”
Cindy: “You’re jealous, you sex monster.”
Tom2: “Can we go home now? I for one would like to say how therapeutic these sessions are for me.”
Tom1: Get’s up from his chair and thanks everyone for coming. “I guess, we’ll see you again next week, I’m going to wash my underwear now. Thanks Larry.”
Everyone walks out the door with Cindy leading, Sandy following, and Larry and Tom2 not far behind.
Tom2 speeds up to catch Cindy from behind.
Tom2: “What color curtains did you buy? I once took a class in interior design as an elective in undergraduate school.”
Cindy: “Really! Would you like to see them?”
Larry: Putting his arm around Sandy. “You look really hot when you get mad. Wanna go get a drink?”
The End.
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